Friday, April 14, 2006

Megastars & Fans

Chennai, Tamil Nadu : A mini riot erupts outside a theater as many fans are turned away from the box office as all tickets for the first day first show are sold out for Rajnikanth's 'Baba'. It is another matter though, that tickets for the next show are still available.

Rajahmundry, Andhra Pradesh - a group of fans loyal to 'megastar' Chiranjeevi hijack a theater and force the owner to run a poorly faring movie to virtually empty seats for weeks. Reason : they want the movie to complete its silver jubilee by running for 25 weeks to beat rival star Venkatesh's movie which has been doing well.

Hyderabad, Andhra Pradesh - A fan commits suicide, after losing heavy bets on the fate of his idol Balakrishna's release. The fans association pressurises the producer to 'compensate' the deceased's family. The producer, already reeling under heavy losses approaches the star's secretary and the two try to talk Balakrishna who is the son of the late NT Rama Rao, former chief minister and demi-god of Telugu movies, into footing a part of the compensation. An argument ensues and the star shoots both the producer and his secretary at point blank range. Miraculously, both survive and blame the star for it. A few days later, they retract their statement blaming the act on some unidentified assailant. Balakrishna, meanwhile gets admitted to the hospital for a 'cut on the finger' !! A few weeks later, the star's security guard is battered to death with a heavy marble table top while no one in the house hears a thing !! No progress has been made in any of the two cases.

Bangalore, Karnataka - Following Kannada thespian Rajkumar's death, riots break out in the city. On the day of his funeral, the entire city is shut down, shops, offices and schools are closed. Buses are burnt and the Deputy chief minister of the state is stoned and injured when he arrives to pay his last respects. Similar scenes had been witnessed a few years back when Rajkumar was abducted by brigand Veerappan. The kidnapping drama continued for months before Rajkumar was released after being paid a rumored ransom running into crores.

Welcome to the world of South Indian cinema. Temples and poojas in the name of the stars are just a mere detail in the passionate world of their fans. Passionate is however, the wrong word to choose. For lack of a better word, crazy is the nearest term I can find. The South Indian fan is a weirdo, he will go any lengths to catch the first day first show of his idol's latest movie. After that, he will see the movie maybe 20 times again, just to see that hot dance number, and walks out of the theater once the song is over !! So often you can find groups of youth staring at the posters of a forthcoming movie and lay huge bets on their fate. Film stars simply rule the South Indian mind.

Psychologists and behavioral scientists term this mania as escape from the dreary realities of daily life - which translates into a release, a near sexual gratification achieved by watching rotund heroines and hirsute heroes gyrate to the latest Vengaboys ripoffs somewhere in the Swiss Alps. When the audience screams and claps as the hero single handedly beats 3 dozen baddies to pulp without breaking into sweat, it is termed as an expression of the underlying rage of the masses against the system. The Times of India, this morning had a 2 column story on various psychologists' views on the mob psychology and the mass hysteria following Rajkumar's death - and my opinion to all is that it is a whole lot of baloney.

Rajkumar was perhaps one of the few cinema demi gods from the south to have not embraced politics, but before him countless others have stepped over to politics capitalising on their popularity, NTR, and MGR are only two examples. Cinematic popularity in the south gives you a whole lot of clout. Stars themselves fuel this fan hysteria to their ulterior motives at many times. And political parties are smart enough to recognise this and they try and recruit as many stars as possible within their ranks, and slowly this malaise is spreading north as well.

Why do you think the crowd erupted at Rajkumar's funeral, it was the work of political goons, try to capitalise on this moment to create unrest, to create a situation to derive political mileage from. Otherwise, why would the deputy CM be pelted with stones. Crazy and irrational the movie fan maybe, but this surely is not his doing.

First it was religion, now it is films the only thing that is now left for the politicians to screw up is cricket, and with Sharad Pawar and his cronies at the helm, I am just wondering how long more before that happens?



Monday, April 10, 2006

The Day I Ran Away From Home

The year was 1996, I was in High School and like most teenagers, I could not simply agree with my parents on things concerning my studies and my future. Ever the hothead , I decided that enough was enough and there was no point in staying in a place where no one appreciated me ;o)

So there I was, all of 17 years old standing in the queue at New Delhi station and bought a general class ticket to Vijaywada. Having bought the ticket, I was left with exactly 70 rupees in my pocket. I headed towards the platform where the Tamil Nadu Express had already been placed and by the time I got there, the general coaches were more than full. Every imaginable space in the coach was taken up by specimens of the human or the luggage kind, so all hopes of ‘comfortable’ journey evaporated in thin air. By then, I had steeled up myself to face the consequences of my decision, so 28 hours in a coach where people were packed tighter than sardines wasn't really something which worried me.

Just as the train moved, I made forced my way inside the very first coach and barely had I managed to cross the first few feet, I found my way blocked by a mountain of Indian Army standard issue trunks. Determined as I was to find myself a sitting space I found a way across and after an agonizing ten minutes pummedled by a screaming, shouting, pushing, shoving mass of humanity I managed to find space on an upper berth sufficient enough to rest a quarter of my bum. The rest of the berth was occupied by a huge Jat who probably had probably bathed in a gallon of arrack before getting on because the stench emanating from him suggested no less. The rest of the bay was occupied by a large family of migrant labourers presumably from somewhere in Madhya Pradesh judging by the dialect they spoke.

Half an hour was what I could manage at the most on that perch. The seat edges were rusted and there were jagged tips which continued to pinch my butt at every jerk. But an alternate was nowhere in sight. The family down below had spread itself over the seats, the floor everywhere. Their luggage was piled inbetween people and there were some people sleeping on the overhead luggage racks as well. For those who haven't see the inside of a general coach in India, the width of these racks, which run along the length of the coach is about 8 inches only !! If that wasn't enough, one of the kids below started bawling at the top of his voice as he wanted to crap. Since there was no way his mother could take him to the loo, she simply opened the window, asked the kid to stick his ass out between the grilles and crap for all he was worth.

That was about all that I could take and I jumped off the berth landing on my toes, in a space not more than 10 square inches as anywhere else would have meant landing on somebody else. Now the only other way to go was back across the mountain of trunks and hoping to find some place among the faujis. It took me a full 5 minutes to cover just those few meters to and over the trunks and the moment I landed on the other side, I was face to face with of bunch of soldiers who were staring at me as if I was some Jehadi who had walked right into their pub. Luckily I had noticed that most of the names on the trunks were Telugu in origin, so in my best coastal twang I explained my situation. Fortunately, some of the soldiers belonged to villages around my mother's home town and upon learning that I too was from those parts, I was welcomed almost like a long lost brother, and I got enough of a trunk top to rest my entire butt.

I learnt that the soliders were returning home from a vacation after having spent the entire winter in Kashmir fighting militancy. Their unit was their on special deployment or something. Most of the soldiers were from families of fisherman and lungis and banian along with the warmth and the salt of the sea was something they were really looking forward to after months in layers of clothes in the icy heights of the Himalayas. Speaking of the cold, in my hurry to leave home I didn't realize that I was wearing only a light sleeveless pullover for warmth and it being the last week of January, the temperature in the fields of Uttar Pradesh was pretty low as our train sped through the darkness towards Mathura. The cold wind was seeping into the coach from the door and window sills and I was really shivering by now. Practically everyone in the coach was adequately armed for the cold and here I was cold, shivering, hungry and suddenly - very alone.

Thoughts of hot food and a warm bed were running through my head now, and home despite everything that had happened earlier in the day, seemed like the best place in the world to be. My reverie was broken by a tap on the shoulder and I turned to find one of them asking me if I needed anything for the cold. Apparently they had noticed me shivering & huddling and were wondering what prompted me to turn up defenceless against the cold. I was offered room inside one of the blankets being shared which I gladly agreed. However, I had caught the chills by then and had already begun sniffling. Sensing that I might fall sick, a bottle of the Indian Army's finest XXX rum 'Crazy Horse' was produced out of a trunk along with a steel tumbler the size of a small bucket !! The tumbler was then filled almost to the brim and a few cursory drops of water were added and then passed on to me. I hadnt till then had a drink stronger than a beer, but then I was on my own now, a man. So how could a man then turn chicken out at a mere tumbler of rum, so I just picked it up and gulped it down in one straight go to the nodding approval of the faujis, after all thats how one should drink.. isn't it?

I don't know whether it was really the drink or my mind playing games, but within seconds the cold had simply vanished and instead I was now feeling warm and comfortable, and the tips of my ears were probably glowing red hot. Its a feeling that I have come to love over the years and even today, there is nothing like gulping a large drink down on a windy night in Delhi and then feel your ears slowly go toast. Now that the bottle was out, the soldiers decided to help themselves to a drink as well and minutes later, I was savouring the last drops from the now empty bottle.

As a first timer though, I was expecting myself to get sloshed any moment now, but none of that happened. Instead, I saw each of the soliders nod off one by one and then spent the entire night huddled inside the blanket waiting for the rum to have its intoxicating effect on me. Morning saw me curled up on the floor inside the blanket sandwiched between the bodies of the rest of them. Being soliders, all of them were accustomed to an early start to the day and by 0530 all of them were yawning and stretching in whatever little space that was available. The temperature and the weather meant that almost everybody had a full bladder, but it being the first coach, it had toilets at the other end only.

Not having the guts to trample over sleeping bodies, neither having the will to hold an overflowing bladder we were in a quandary when suddenly the train stopped. Whooping with joy, we got off and lined up by the tracks and just as we had unzipped the train started moving again ! Now I don't think I need to explain how difficult it is to hold back then; but we all mustered the last nanogram of our will power and ran to catch the train and then took turns two at a time to pee out of the moving train - much to the consternation and amusement of the early morning squatters by the tracks.

Relieved, we flopped over the trunks and holdalls and had a hearty laugh. Reaching Itarsi, we all had hot tea and pakodas for breakfast and I picked up half a dozen bananas to last me the rest of the day as that was just about all I could afford. As the day wore on, the coach got progressively emptier and we all got decent seats and took turns taking naps on the solitary upper berth that we managed to occupy. In the evening, out came the rum bottles again and this time thankfully I was handed smaller drinks and one kindly lance-naik even procured coke from a wayside station and to this day I have not been able to rid myself of the addiction to this particular concotion.

Night fell and I finished off my last banana and tried hard to stay awake as my destination would arrive just past midnight. Reaching there on time, I got out of the station onto the deserted streets and got into autorickshaw that changed my whole destiny......... but that is another story for another time, another place.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Frames

Agra - December 2005: While I have seen people try all sorts of poses in front of the Taj Mahal, this one was truly innovative. The photographer made this poor guy jump at least 3-4 times before getting it right. I - got it right the second time :o) People go great lengths to get just that right shot, this guy went high. His enthusiasm was unfaltering, every time the photographer asked him for a retake, his smile got bigger !!


Delhi - November 2005 : After a long tiring day I was driving home when I saw this gorgeous golden sun set. Was busy focusing on the big ball of fire when the he auto walked into the picture at just about the right time. There is something magical about sunrises and sunsets that lures me. Every time I look at them, I discover new shades of red, orange, gold and a myriad of other colors. There is something so mystic about them. In the sunset of my life, I will write a book about them. But the best sunrises / sunsets are the ones of which I do not have pictures. No camera could have ever done justice to them. All you need is a cigarette, a coffee and some solitude.



Chandigarh - November 2005: Nek Chand's Rock Garden is one fascinating place. But these figures made of broken plates, cups, shit pots and tiles enchanted me no end. There was something so mysterious about them that I just couldn't take my eyes off. Who are they? What were they thinking? Why were they sitting like that? Every change in the angle added a new dimension to the whole mystery. These men of cement and china... seemed to have a life of their own.

Bhongir - September 2004: After a long and tiring climb up the hill to reach the Bhongir fort, I came across these kids who were busy playing cops and robbers. Running around as they were in the open expanse on the summit, they seemed like kings of all they surveyed and the whole world seemed theirs. I guess that's why the cop would settle for nothing less than this old disused cannon to fire at the robbers. I wish I had a playground like this. I wish I had a life like this. I wish I was Peter Pan....
















Gems from Rediff Matchmaker

I have this weird habit of collecting 'interesting' profiles of matrimonial ads from Rediff Matchmaker, some of the very best..............

GR (likes watching his partners and has a penchant for typing saharanpur in every sentence)
hello i am simple cool.i m living in saharanpur, working in group saharanpur my family in my mom,dad & me.i well setaled in saharanpur my family is a gursikh family,i watching a simple, smart intelligent,cool & gursikh life partner


VM (has difficulty explaining things, wonder how he would get a bride?)
Hello myself VM, this the difficult task to me that how I can explain to myself.

PB (is looking for a face readin docter chokri !!!)
m workng with airlines company looking for well cultured,nice human nature family loving chokri who is well educated and i dont know but my dream is to marry docter...because they are simple,goodlooking as no much styles and can r5ead every thing on face itself..i just like them

AK (hopes to get good self depended bride)
Hi She should be smart to handle any sitution without anyone help i mean to say self depended not by working but by mind and should also love my nature of work and understand Ups and down in profession love to encourage me and support me ofcourse i will be the same to her. Anyway hope get good and for that reason be Good.

SY (pity i couldnt see his pic so i don't know if he is really jolly!)
hi im sanju im very jolly person doin job as a software professional. as u see my pic im so. n looking for a MBBS girl with no religion bar.n fair girl

KM (has his fundas clear in life)
i want looking nice gal

KR (his wife would love him.. he would stay calm no matter how much she screams)
i am only son having 1sister she is already married my intreast is being calm at present i am doing job in private firm

SK (is he from a family of olympic sprinters?)
I am a fun loving person and my fiancy is should be very outspoken and should not hide any factors, should be a good friend and move well with my family members.

DK (human understandable person... now that's a new one !)
I NEED HUMAN UNDERSTANDABLE PERSON.BECAUSE OF ALL HUMAN BEINGS HAVE A
PROBLEM,THATS WAY I NEED UNDERSTANDABLE PEOPLE.

VK (i reserve my comments)
name:kakumanu.venkatasivannarayana Mother:peddammai father:sivaiah Brother:Nagaravindrababu (married on 22may2005) religion:Hindu(Rajaka) Hobbies:playing
cricket,kabaddi,chess. working: film city at Hyderbad( A.P)salary :Rs.3246/-pm

BB (is he scared of sting operations?)
hi this is Shankar looking for a nice girl i hope she must share my life.waiting for u r reply i don want expose my self much more meet me decide u r self.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

What if...

These English movies were to be made in Hindi

  1. One flew over the cuckoo's nest :Vo koyal ke ghonsle ke upar se uda / वो कोयल के घोंसले के ऊपर से उड़ा 
  2. Raider's of the lost ark : Khoi hui kashti ke lutere / खोई हुई कश्ती के लुटेरे 
  3. Silence of the lambs : Memno ki khamoshi / मेमनों की ख़ामोशी 
  4. Rocky : Pathrila / पथरीला 
  5. Close Encounters of the third kind : Teesri tarah ki nikat muthbhed / तीसरी तरह की निकट मुठभेड़ 
These Bands were Indian

  1. Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Lal garam hari mirch kali mirch / लाल गरम हरी मिर्च काली मिर्च 
  2. Backstreet Boys - Pichli gali ke launde / पिछली गली के लौंडे 
  3. Megadeath - Shaandar maut / शानदार मौत 
  4. Iron Maiden - Lohe ki aurat / लोहे की औरत 
  5. Soungarden - Bagh-e-awaaz / बाघ-ए-आवाज़ 
  6. Rage against the machine - Yantra ke khilaf gussa / यन्त्र के खिलाफ गुस्सा 
  7. Smashing Pumpkins - Kaddu Fodna / कद्दू फोड़ना 
These Songs were sung in Hindi

  1. Jam (Michael Jackson) - Murabba / मुरब्बा 
  2. My heart will go on (Celine Dion) - Mera dil chalta rahega / मेरा दिल चलता रहेगा 
  3. Torn (Natalie Imbruglia) - Fata hua / फटा हुआ 
  4. Get Down (Backstreet Boys) - Neeche aao / नीचे आओ 
  5. Smells like teen spirit (Niravana) - Kishor bhoot ki durgandh / किशोर भूत की दुर्गन्ध 
More to be added as time goes by........

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Orchha : Still safe from touts, hippies & trance music

Ended up in Orchha sometime ago. Guide book images of its towering temples and vast ruins continued to haunt me for years before I finally made it by slieght of hand and twist of fate, but the 3 days that I spent there were perhaps the most relaxing I've ever had in a long long time.

Out there by the Betwa river, I could spend hours and hours gazing at the Chattris (cenotaphs) of the mighty Bundela kings who ruled over these lands. Cattle grazed in the lush grass by the banks and a motley bunch of boys tried to do a Louganis as they twisted, turned and dove into the quiet waters. Sunset turned this mystical land into magical. As the big ball of fire descended behind the Chattris, the whole atmosphere acquired a hue that no words can describe.

Just as I though that I could leave as darkness fell, the deep blue sky turned those awesome buildings into towering shadows holding back tales of valour, lust, intrigue and heartbreak. It took a lot of effort to move away from the narrow bridge that spans the Betwa and connects the sleepy village with the district headquarters at Tikamgarh.

A visit to the Chaturbhuj Temple is a must. Its towering spires afford grand views of the surrounding countryside and the royal citadel comprising of the Raja Mahal and the Jahangir Mahal. The Jahangir Mahal was of particular interest to me. According to history, the Bundela Chief Madhukar Shah built this enormous palace just to commemorate his friendship with the Mughal prince. The palace was built in 20 years after which Jahangir travelled down to Orchha from Agra and stayed there for all of 2 nights !! What a fuckin waste, but then that's how these turnip heads were !! Apart from the palaces, ruins and temples there is hardly anything worth doing here, atleast for the Lonely Planet traveller. But if you want a relaxing weekend doing nothing, this is the place to be.

It is one of those rare places in India which is still free of touts, beggars and ganja smoking hippies. The shops here are yet to stock Shiva Trance CDs by Prem Joshua and Foreign Exchange centers havent yet sprouted at every corner. The taxi drivers don't fleece you yet, neither do hordes of agents descend upon you selling the virtues of their hotel. But at the same time I am wondering how long would this remain? Already, the local dhabas have shops that have signs that read in French and Hebrew. A hole in the wall tea shop advertises its large menu of Korean dishes and I counted atleast 4 internet browsing centers within 50 meters of each other. The street kids have learnt a few words of English and the moment they see you, they start chanting "Hello, 20 rupees??"

Head there before it turns into another Khajuraho. Head there if you want to spend a busy weekend doing nothing. Head there because it still hasn't been found by the hippie. Head there for Jatayu - the king of birds.

For some more pics from Orchha, click here.

Through the doors.. out into the open

Riders on the storm, Riders on the storm
Into this house we're born, Into this world we're thrown
Like a dog without a bone, An actor out on loan
Riders on the storm

There's a killer on the road, His brain is squirmin' like a toad
Take a long holiday, Let your children play
If ya give this man a ride, Sweet memory will die
Killer on the road, yeah

Girl you gotta love your man, Girl you gotta love your man
Take him by the hand, Make him understand
The world on you depends, Our life will never end
Gotta love your man, yeah
...........

--

You're lost, little girl, You're lost, little girl
You're lost, Tell me who are you?

Think that you know what to do
Impossible yes, But it's true

I think that you know what to do
Yeah, Sure that you know what to do

You're lost, little girl, You're lost, little girl
You're lost, Tell me who are you?

--

People are strange when you're a stranger
Faces look ugly when you're alone
Women seem wicked when you're unwanted
Streets are uneven when you're down

When you're strange
Faces come out of the rain
When you're strange
No one remembers your name

When you're strange
When you're strange
When you're strange

--

We could be so good together, Ya, so good together
We could be so good together, Ya, we could, I know we could

Tell you lies, I tell you wicked lies
Tell you lies, Tell you wicked lies

Tell you 'bout the world that we'll invent, Wanton world without lament
Enterprise, expedition, Invitation and invention

Ya, so good together, Ah, so good together
We could be so good together, Ya, we could, know we could


The time you wait subtracts the joy, Beheads the angels you destroy
Angels fight, angels cry, Angels dance and angels die


--

Strange days have found us
Strange days have tracked us down
They're going to destroy our casual joys
We shall go on playing or find a new town

Strange eyes fill strange rooms
Voices will signal their tired end
The hostess is grinning
Her guests sleep from sinning
Hear me talk of sin and you know this is it

Strange days have found us
And through their strange hours
We linger alone
Bodies confused
Memories misused
As we run from the day
To a strange night of stone


--
Can you picture what will be, So limitless and free
Desperately in need of some stranger's hand, In a desperate land

Lost in a Roman wilderness of pain, And all the children are insane
All the children are insane, Waiting for the summer rain
There's danger on the edge of town, Ride the King's highway
Weird scenes inside the gold mine, Ride the highway West, baby

Ride the snake, Ride the snake
To the lake, To the lake


The ancient lake, baby
The snake is long, Seven miles
Ride the snake

He's old, And his skin is cold
The West is the best, The West is the best
Get here and we'll do the rest

The blue bus is calling us, The blue bus is calling us
Driver, where are you taking us?

The killer awoke before dawn , He put his boots on
He took a face from the ancient gallery
And he walked on down the hall

He went into the room where his sister lived
And then he paid a visit to his brother
And then he walked on down the hall
And he came to a door
And he looked inside
Father
Yes son?
I want to kill you
Mother, I want to. . .

C'mon baby, take a chance with us
C'mon baby, take a chance with us
C'mon baby, take a chance with us
And meet me at the back of the blue bus

This is the end, beautiful friend
This is the end, my only friend
The end

It hurts to set you free
But you'll never follow me

The end of laughter and soft lies
The end of nights we tried to die

This is the end