Hangovers

2 days back I was reading an article on the the 155mm FH-77B howitzer, more commonly known in India as 'the' Bofors Gun. More specifically, I was reading about the pounding it inflicted upon enemy positions during the Kargil war. And this morning it seemed that one of those FH-77Bs was going off right near my ears at 2 second intervals.

Opened my eyes too see the world hazy and bright. Trying hard to locate my stupid Nokia which was the true source of those mind bending explosions, I cursed the makers of Botox, my choice of profession, Metallica, Led Zepellin, Pink Floyd, Pearl Jam and all those bands at Turquoise Cottage last night. I stumbled out of bed trying to shake off the cumulative effects of a tankful of Old Monk, Coke, Foster's and Castle Lager that had been downed last night headbanging to the music which my mom says made lose my faith in god.

A hangover is the worst thing you can take with you to work, and woe betide those who end up being in office for the second weekend in a row. It is another matter that I have nothing to do till 1800 this evening and just to keep myself from falling off, I am writing this post. Coming back to hangovers, many people have had many things to say about them :

A certain gentleman known to us only as John commented, "After a night of too much alcohol and spirits, thou must kneel, embrace thy throne, and sacrifice to the Porcelain God."

Another unknown entity had this to say, " A hangover is the wrath of grapes. " I'd add sugarcane, malt, barley and even wheat to that list.

But no matter how much pounding our head receives in the morning, or no matter how many times we regurgitates our intestines at the sink, we is back on the barstool at the very first chance we get. Though I have not put much thought into the reason behind it, many writers, poets, thinkers, statesmen and other renowned people have said a thing or two about drink.

For example, the famous musician Tom Waits once said, "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy."

An anti-war gentleman believed that we should "Draft beer, not people".

Then there was this man who was fond of wine was offered some grapes at dessert after dinner. "Much obliged," said he, pushing the plate aside, "I am not accustomed to take my wine in pills."

End of the day I care two hoots where my livery ends up, as long as the liqour ends up in the right place. There is nothing like sitting in a noisy smoky pub with friends downing Old Monk, Coke, Foster's & Castle Lager listening to the music of Metallica, Led Zepellin, Pink Floyd, Pearl Jam and all those bands whose music my mom says, made lose my faith in god.

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St. Anger

I feel my earth shake
like an earthquake, hard to see clear..
is it me, is it fear..

I'm madly in anger with you


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according to http://dictionary.com
an.ger - : A strong feeling of displeasure or hostility.

according to wikipedia

Anger is a term for the emotional aspect of aggression, as a basic aspect of the stress response in animals in which a perceived aggravating stimulus "provokes" a counterresponse which is likewise aggravating and threatening of violence. Very mild types of anger are typically described as "distaste," "displeasure", or "irritation," while "rage" refers to an extreme degree of anger associated with a loss of calmness or discipline (in the case of human conduct).

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Just the other day, I did an online test to find out which comic book superhero resembles my personality the most

no prizes for guessing... it was The Hulk !!

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My anger, My pain

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Fuck it all and no regrets
I hit the lights on these dark sets
I need a voice to let myself
To let myself go free
Fuck it all and fuck regrets
I hit the lights on these dark sets
Medallion noose I hang myself
St. Anger round my neck

Things that irritate me no end....

1. Drivers behind me who start honking a millisecond after the light turns green
2. (K)Ekta Kapur's serials and her ilk
3. The endless announcements on the Metro
4. Backbiting
5. Leaving a 1 rupee tip
6. P3P, Delhi Times, HT City and Zoom
7. Fashion TV (except the lingerie collection)
8. Navjot Singh Sidhu
9. Relatives wanting to marry me off...
10. All of the above.....
    

Useless day around Delhi

There are those days when you want to do nothing... still... duty calls. What do you do, If you were me yesterday? Most likely you would have done the same... gone AWOL !!

I called up everyone I knew to check if they would want to have lunch or coffee with me, but it seemed like I was the only bugger with too much time on my hands and too little to do. So what do I do? Well, I did nothing exotic ... just headed to the nearest McDonald's for a burger and after fighting hard to balance a tray of Chicken in a Bun, Medium Fries and Medium Coke amongst a crowd of 6 year olds fighting for the latest Pokemon toy in their Happy meal, I finally got myself a corner next to three Telugu guys.

Being half-telugu myself, I never lose a chance to overhear any scrap of conversation in my 'mother' tongue that comes my way. Well this bright chap named Chandru, was busy explaining to his mates that McDonalds has a centralised supply system for delivery of raw materials across the world so that A chicken in a bun with fries in New York tastes the same as the one in Connaught place. I guess the guy has not been to the McD's outlet near Mathura refinery on the highway to Agra. The buggers there probably use High Speed Diesel to fry their frenchies it seems !!

Heading out, I decided to go for a train ride and just for kicks I chose to take a train from the worst place possible, the Old Delhi station. Leaving my car in the lot, I headed underground to catch a Metro train. Its been more than a year since I have been using a Metro regularly, but each time I enter a Metro station, it is like stepping into another country. I know you would have heard this many times before, but the fact remains that the Metro is like nothing else that this country has and I just wish we had more people like Sreedharan around. I just wish politicians could stay away from developmental projects, but that is a rant I would leave for another post.

A short ride and a long walk through the subway later, I was in the queue to buy a ticket to Ghaziabad. The lady on the counter took ages to issue a ticket and any enquiry by a passenger was met with a remark that esnured that he would take a plane to Hapur, Amroha, Gajraula or wherever else the poor soul headed out next time. My request for an express ticket (everybody else buys local ticket and gets onto an express) was met with wide eyed amazement which left her speechless for a second, before she got the better of me.. "superfast to nahi chadhoge??" was her retort !

Dodging passengers carrying boxes, sacks, trunks & even chemical canisters I made my way towards platform 1 where my chosen train, the New Bhuj - Bareilly Ala Hazrat Express was due to arrive. For a train which carries the name of the revered shrine of Dargah-e-Alahazrat in Bareilly, the rake is a disgrace. Old rickety coaches pockmarked with gaping holes big enough to swallow a blue whale are the chief characteristic of this train and the last time this train was cleaned was somewhere in the last millenium !! The train halted for about 20 minutes which I utilised by helping the assistant driver check the sand level in the sandboxes, fuel level in the fuel tank and the water level in the radiator water tank. All this buttering still didnt get me a ride on the loco so I settled for the next best thing, stand on the door in the first coach.

The next 12 kilometers were a an absolute pleasure... A driver who loved the 8th notch and an Alco that loved to smoke. The turbo was singing as much as I was grinning and the melodious twin tones made Bach, Beethoven and Chopin irrelevant. A glorious sunset and a few pictures later, I was trying to find my way across a swamp and through a slum which had more bufallos than people to reach the GT Road. Flagging down a Vikram, a smoke belching, diesel gulping three wheeler I got dropped me off at the Delhi border from where a I took a CNG auto. Compared to the Vikram, the Bajaj RE CNG was a virtual Bentley. For those who dont know, an extended journey in a Vikram can warrant a visit to the chiropactor so beware before getting into one.

The Bajaj dropped me in front of Metro's Welcome station. Now the only other station name that is probably more enticing is Inderlok. That's becos my karma ensures that I stand no chance in hell for a ticket to the real Inderlok. I was visiting Welcome after nearly a year, and the last time I was here I was greeted by the hottest chicks that sat across a subway ticket counter. Big kohl lined eyes, slick faux leather jackets and... well lets leave it or I'll have to rate this post as 'A'. But no such luck this time... a burly Jat sat at the counter and his drawl made we wonder if he was with the DTC in his last job.

Back inside the Metro, it was predominantly boring ride back to CP. The girl across the aisle could have made things livelier, had it not been for her buck tooth, but that's another useless detail from another useless day around Delhi, so why bother??

Life's Song

If at all there was a song to describe who I am, it is this one....

....And the road becomes my bride
I have stripped of all but pride
so in her I do confide
and she keeps me satisfied
gives me all I need

...And with dust in throat I crave
only knowledge will I save
to the game you stay a slave
rover wanderer
nomad vagabond
call me what you will

But I'll take my time anywhere
free to speak my mind anywhere
and I'll redefine anywhere
anywhere I roam
where I lay my head is home

...And the earth becomes my throne
I adapt to the unknown
under wandering stars I've grown
by myself but not alone


I ask no one ...and my ties are severed clean
the less I have the more I gain
off the beaten path I reign
rover wanderer
nomad vagabond
call me what you will

But I'll take my time anywhere
I'm free to speak my mind anywhere
and I'll never mind anywhere
anywhere I roam
where I lay my head is home

carved upon my stone
my body lie, but still I roam.......