The Ugliest Cars... ever!

A large part of the reason that a person buys a specific car because they think it looks good... ergo, they would look good sitting in them. Despite the fact that beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, I cannot, by any stretch of imagination figure out how anyone thought that these cars look good and in turn make them look good. Or I guess all of those who bought these were just ugly blokes who would have looked good even while sitting on the back of a baboon.

Lightburn Zeta

Built by an Australian company that otherwise makes cement mixers and washing machines, the Zeta looks as if someone stuck the headlights of a Premier Padmini (our own Indian Fiat) and a rickshaw's canvas roof to a fiberglass pedal boat with tyres stolen from a Bajaj auto. Clearly, Lightburn should've stuck to washing machines!

AMC Pacer

There is a limit to which things can be made to look hideous, but somehow the designers and engineers at the American Motors Corporation managed to find a way to exceed that limit. Considering that it was built in an era when consumption of LSD or marijuana was de rigueur amongst the ‘creative’ classes, I am assuming that this was perhaps the result of a collective doping orgy in the company factory. No other plausible explanation I’m afraid.

Volvo 240 (1974)

Apparently the Volvo designers wanted square wheels too, but it seems they are illegal in Sweden. That is the only concession made in a car that was otherwise designed with a chap who was only given a ruler. I am told that compasses and protractors were in short supply in Sweden due to a copyright dispute over lines and curves between the Swedes and Italians.

Matra – Talbot Rancho

Named after the monkey of a famous Indian ventriloquist – looks like it was designed by one too.

Citroen BX

What looks like the the net result of a large number of spare parts and sheet metal pieces glued together by someone who worked in a brick kiln, is actually the work of a gentleman known as Marcello Gandini. He otherwise made a living by designing cars like the Lamborghini Countach, Diablo and the evocative Bugatti EB 110! I told you… all these designers smoke pot!

Fiat Multipla

A shipment of vehicles meant for the planet of Mygeeto to Bothawui got lost in the space time continuum and landed up off the coast of Italy. Some enterprising fisherfolk sold off the lot to Fiat, who in the middle of a recession wanted to sell anything they could lay their hands on. The Multipla came free with a fridge just in case you wanted to up the ‘cool quotient’

Pontiac Aztek

A chap called Wayne Cherry was responsible for this one. He has mercifully retired since.