Friday, May 21, 2010

Vodka Fuelled Post #2

In a flash the DeLorean disapppeared, and I was left alone again in the darkness. In the distance though I could see the lights of vehicles climbing the ghats. The first one of them, an eighteen wheeler with Rajasthan number plates came close and I hailed it. The driver, a burly chap asked "Kathe Jano Sai?"

"Jitni door tame jaa riyo saa", to wherever you may be going - I answered. He motioned me to hop in and told me he was going as far as Lohegaon - delivering spares to the Indian Air Force base. It wasn't long that we got there, the lanky chap at the gate asked for my papers. I had none on my person, but magically, the driver produced some for me - anointing me as his helper. The guard let us in, pointing towards the hangars where we were to deliver. As we go there, a posse of uniformed airmen surrounded us and quickly unloaded the truck.

As they got on with their job, I asked for the way towards the toilet. Reaching there, I unzipped and got on with the job, with a smart looking chap in the next stall. We got talking and found out that his family hailed from the same district as mine - though it was in Pakistan now. Out of the blue he asked me, if I wanted a ride in his plane? "Which plane" I asked, hoping for a troop transport to take me to wherever they may be going.

It turned out, that he flew the Sukhoi Su-30 and I was strapped to the back seat in G-suit. As we took off, he positioned the sleek craft into a steep climb and minutes later, we were at the edge of the atmosphere. "Wanna see what this baby can do?", he asked and I mumbled something into the intercom. Even before I had finished, we were in a steep dive and then he pulled the nose sharply upward almost causing the plane to stall - as we dropped freely, he powered the afterburners to regain control. Little did I realise, it was the Pugachev's Cobra maneuver. The afterburners refused to kick in and we were dropping altitude sharply. "Eject .... eject" was all I could hear in my earpiece as I pulled the handle. The rocket powered zero zero ejection seat hurled me from nought to 60 in less than a second, but not before my head hit the canopy brace on my way out.

I blacked out.

I opened my eyes, only to find a curious Stormtrooper examining my G-suit intently. It wasn't long before he pronounced to his mates - "this is not the droid we're looking for...."


Vinu said...

This is like a snapshot of H2G2 in more earthly tones :P

Vinu said...

//"this is not the droid we're looking for...."

Sidhusaaheb said...

It is said that the only pilot to ever have won the Param Vir Chakra too had a similar accident. His head apparently slammed into the canopy brace or something like that during ejection, killing him instantly.

Was that incident the inspiration here?

There are other versions, of course, one among them describing his having ejected at a height too low for safe landing being the main reason for death.


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